I really need help. Can someone please try to help me?
Okay, long, but here goes.
My problems may not be the most severe things ever, heck, I know there are many worse things out there in this world, but my problems are serious enough to torment me every waking moment of my young teenage life. I feel I am really going downhill-FAST. Last year I was diagnosed with mild Asperger's, and I won't say I've been depreseed ever since, but very darn close to it. Ever since, I have never looked at life the same, but now feel different from everyone else, and I am a complete failure. What's more, I have always been a bit freakish over germs and washing my hands. I've gotten much better at not washing my hands so often, but I've developed a controlling, even almost debilitating fear of contracting a sickness-not serious ailments-no, I am petrified of contracting a simple head cold or stomach flu, I'm so obsessed with it that I've caused myself a good deal of physical distress over the last couple of weeks from worrying about getting sick. I'm an only child and I hate it so much that I don't look forward to being an adult, for each of the given reasons. To be near me one would swear I'm OCD. I've taken numerous online tests for depression, each test stating I do indeed suffer from clinical depression, and should seek help, but I hurt too much to bother. I see no reason to look forward to the future.
What's more, because I'm so unhappy with my life, I've become envious of the lives of others. For example:
1) My uncle: He has a perfect marriage, a great job, nothing seems to bother him, he has a great
personality.
2) My classmates: There are these three kids in my class, whom are siblings, and I swear they are so close, and love each other so much, it drives me crazy.
3) My math tutor: He's 70 years old, so statistically he's lived the majority of his life, he's been through most of the problems life will trow at him, and if you believe statistics, he has less than 15 years left to live. Boy, wouldn't I like to be in that boat.
My classmates tend to think I'm weird because I'm so shy, and tend to avoid people. From what I'm written, what do you think? Do I need help?
P.S. I know this sounds extreme, but darn it I mean it. In a perfect world, I would absolutely LOVE to check into a mental hospital, just to get away from my life that I hate, just to maybe find someone who can help me sort out my problems and enjoy life again. This sounds seriously extreme, but I'm in pain here people-if it would put me out of my misery, I'd gladly let myself get mauled by sharks.
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